Thursday, August 5, 2010

Pigeon: Impossible

Email to Building Manager of Tall Building where I work:

This is going to probably sound like a really bizarre question, but here goes.

Do you have any issues with the pigeons that congregate on our tower roof? It seems like there are a ton of them, and I was wondering if you were in need of a pigeon control program.

No, I’m not asking if I can shoot them --- but I am in need of a source of live birds to train my hunting dogs. Do we have a pest control service that traps them? If not, I’ve got a couple live traps and would be happy to thin the population. I'm fine with running my traps after hours or over the weekend to keep it from being a distraction to those who might not understand (admittedly a large majority of people).

If this whole thing sounds absurd to you, that’s fine – I can find some elsewhere. I just thought I’d ask.

Reply from Building Manager:

I was actually getting ready to start a good old fashion pigeon shoot soon with a pellet gun of course. Please go ahead and trap all you want. When you’re done I’ll exterminate the rest. If you need any assistance please ask as I want the birds gone as much as you want them relocated!

SUCCESS!!  Since last weekend, I've been baiting these rats with wings that are literally one flight of stairs from my office.  The other night, the kids and I came back in the evening to find our trap filled with three birds.
Only problem?  It's way too damned hot -- even near dusk -- to train the dogs.  So they now reside in my suburban garage, happily eating corn and shitting on a tarp where my wife's now-displaced car used to be.  The kids have named them Speckles, Cornholio, and Bait -- and my son keeps asking me when he can shoot them.
Early Saturday morning, a buddy and I will try our luck with a pigeon pole or two.  Stay tuned.


  1. I'm guessing you named Cornholio...huhu, huhu....

    Same thing here. Too damn hot to do any training right now. Chessie's getting fat and Jenny's getting spoiled and lazy...

  2. Yeah, I might have had something to do with the naming of Cornholio. More frightening though is that my son picked up on it very quickly.